Green Acres Neighbor Talk

May 29, 2009

So, she comes over to show him a picture of the boar her husband killed on a recent trip to Missouri (no, I’m serious) and he laughs about it and comments that her hubby’s expression looks like he’s bored out of his mind.

She starts to go on, “Well, no he had a great ti…”

He interrupts, “Well, good. Let’s get down to work.”

You can feel the hurt in her voice as they begin to discuss whatever work-related thing they need to.

The sad part here is that the week before, he spent 38 of the working 40 hours talking about his two-week Hawaii vacation (complete with an unrequested PowerPoint presentation of 1,400 photos (no, I’m serious)) to her and anyone who was kind enough to listen.

Leave a Comment » | Not Brief Enough Encounters, There Goes the Neighborhood | Permalink
Posted by Sunny Disposition

A Whole Lotta Love

May 12, 2009

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard, “I love you, too” in this office.  I could pay my cell phone bill each month. And probably my gas bill.

They can literally (and I use the term literally) talk to someone on the phone at 10:15am, end it with “I love you, too”, forget something, redial at 10:18am, and end this call with another “I love you, too”. And this goes on all day. Every. Day.

No, that’s not right. There’s one chick here who closes with “I love you more.” And yes, sometimes repeats it in the inevitable volley of mores.

Dear God, people. Is this necessary? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds? No, of course you don’t.

Leave a Comment » | Not Brief Enough Encounters, The Freaks | Permalink
Posted by Sunny Disposition

Green Acres Employee Survey Process

May 6, 2009
  1. Put up posters about a company-wide migration to common system platforms
  2. Wait a month or two
  3. Create an online survey to ask employees about awareness of said initiative that is now scheduled to happen in one week
  4. Instruct VPs to send out an email requesting participation in awareness survey
  5. Send out said email
  6. Field questions and realize that the entire company has no idea about any of this
  7. Quickly have more posters printed and hung in every department
  8. Instruct VPs to send out second email requesting participation in awareness survey
  9. Send out said email
  10. Field more questions and realize that nobody is aware of any (not the old, not the new) posters
  11. Deploy on time anyway

Leave a Comment » | Management? | Permalink
Posted by Sunny Disposition

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