This guy’s UserID to the system I’m writing about is payned. I used to call him D’Payne, but payned fits better, since I am payned by him.
He sighs about every 7.26 minutes. A long sigh, like he’s been curing cancer.
Says things like:
“Doesn’t help to howl at the moon. The moon doesn’t care and you just annoy your neighbors.”
“I’m a problem. I know it. I guess that’s your problem now, though.” Then, raucous laughter. His own.
“I have a million in the bank and I’ll bring home about 3,000 a month, so I guess that’s enough to retire any day. I don’t know what I’m waiting on.” This is when the audience is supposed to mention how necessary he is, I think.
“I don’t know. I just work here.” (ah, the newness of this one)
She comes down to visit him too much (she works two floors up).
Kissy noises. Mmmmmm sounds. “Don’t do that, I can’t take it today.”
I had a dream. I brought shot glasses to work. Lined them up around my three sided cubicle. Every time he said fiancée I drank. I slept in a bathroom stall that night.
What was my fiancée, my fiancée, my fiancée has no idea what she’s getting herself into, my fiancée said I can’t, my fiancée loves to ride….motorcycles. <insert predictable Beavis uhhuhhuhuhhuhuh laugh>
Now it’ll be my wife, my wife, my wife this, my wife that, I can’t because I have a wife, I need to call my wife, my wife, wife, wife.
Has a cartoon in his cube where the wizard who is supposed to be God is sprinkling things onto the Earth during the creation process. The jar he’s holding is labeled “JERKS” and the callout says, “Just to make things interesting…”
He has no idea he is part of the problem. Or, maybe he does and he thinks he’s here to make life interesting for the rest of us? Could that be?
Oh, D’Payne!
Posted by Sunny Disposition 
